This article was written by Louise Ross-Campbell and was originally published in December 2012.
Did you read the title of Anger at Children and think it was written just for you? Are you sick of screaming at the kids? Here are some strategies to create more peace at home with thanks to Dr. Rosina McAlpine.
- Calm starts with you…
Mum’s often feel guilty about taking time out for themselves, but if you’re tired and stressed then any little thing can set you off! So, now you can have guilt-free time to yourself and know you’re supporting peace for the whole family.
- Say ‘yes’ more often…
Saying “no, no, no” all of the time doesn’t make for a happy household and could be just the thing that triggers another argument with the kids. So try and accommodate a yes where you can. Here are some ideas: when your youngster asks “can I have a biscuit?” You say “Yes, yes…you can have a biscuit for morning tea but right now we’ll have breakfast first. Let’s put the biscuit on the bench ready for morning tea at 10.30!” When your teen asks: “Can I go out tonight?” You answer: “Yes, you can go out on the weekend and tonight you are doing homework”. If that’s not enough, then…
- Make time to talk…
By spending one-on-one time with your children you show them they are important and that you care about their position. If there are ongoing issues around wanting to go out on week nights and/or eating sweets for breakfast then you can listen, talk about them calmly and come up with a solution! By working things out quietly, there’s less chance of a screaming match!
- Leave plenty of time…
Have you noticed that when you’re in a hurry or running late the kids play up more and things tend to go wrong which makes you even later and more angry? Well get up 15 minutes earlier, or do some of the preparation the night before leaving you with enough time to absorb the unexpected and avoid having to yell “will you hurry up we’re late!”
- Delay your response…
OK, the kids are driving you crazy, the house is a mess and you need to cook dinner – all you want is some peace, order and help! Don’t yell at them…take yourself away and calm down. Yelling is only going to result in war. Once you calm down – you’ll see a better way out. So when you feel the scream rising up in you – delay your response and go back to step 1!
When there’s more peace in your house, there’ll be a happier home for all. Best of all you’ll be role-modelling and teaching your children essential life skills.